Why am I here?

I had this thought today, as I work diligently alongside a Palencia school teacher with a small English vocabulary and yet, a very bright smile. Why am I here? No, not just my presence in the universe, but why am I in Guatemala? I'm doing work in another country that I'm sure plenty of teachers back home would have loved for me to do. Why am I here?

That question isn't meant to shed a dark light on this trip, but it is a question that a person might ask themselves in a moment. 'Why am I here?' I wish it was as simple an answer, but I know it is a question that admissions officers, employers, and testy elders ask. I wish it was as simple as an answer, so it is my test. Why have I chosen the path that I have? Why do I want to be in the medical field? Why am I stubborn, independent, and self conscious?

There are a lot of things about ourselves we never want to admit, whether it be knowing you're selfish, or high strung, or jealous. It begins by being honest with ourselves. It is about opening up the dark to bring in the light, and if that is the person you want to be, then so be it.  One volleyball game with Guatemalans tell me that happiness is in light. It is in love. It is in friendship. They laughed the entire game, and that is an understatement. They are so bubbly and giddy that it is contagious. They are happy. They are so laid back that it reminded me to not let dirty dishwater splashing on my shirt, or the inconvenience of a burnt out lightbulb, get in the way of my happiness. Point is, I forgot what it felt like to not let the little things get in my way of joy. 

*note to self: there is a difference between joy and happiness, which can be saved for later.*

Today, I've learned the most about Guatemalan culture: things like the belief in peaceful protests and the gradual growth of LGBT groups within the country. Most people would say they are religious, but atheism is out there. Guatemalans are very educated about US politics, especially the moving force of Trump. The schools here go straight from high school into a professional school, and the idea that an 18-

Chapin

year-old me would have had to decide and stick to a career at that age would have been absurd. We had the Guatemalan national dish called Chapin (pronounced cha-peen), which was a delicious concoction of fried plaintains, scrambled eggs, salsa, black beans, sour cream, and, naturally, tortillas. On top of them trying to make us fat, they gave us brownies with ice cream. 

The hospitality of this group is unimaginable. They go above and beyond to make us comfortable. They are gentlemanly and polite without "falling in love" as they say, and as I think back to Tanzanian hospitality, I realize everyone just tries to make everyone feel as comfortable as they can with what they can. There is nothing more you could ask for. 

Be happy and forget the rest.