The Road Goes Ever On and On.

I hope this is what you all have been waiting for.

As said in The Hobbit…

Gandalf: "All good stories deserve an embellishment. You'll have a tale or two when you come back."

Bilbo Baggins: "…Can you promise that I will come back?"

Gandalf: "No. And if you do… you will not be the same."

Yes, I just quoted Lord of the Rings, but truly, no one can contemplate my love for reading those books right now. There is a slight truth in the journey Bilbo Baggins, a wee hobbit with a sense of adventure about him, took into the truly unknown and uncertain, and in the end, he ended up with more than just riches, but priceless friends, lessons, and memories that lasted him an entire 150 year lifetime.

As your average human being, I fear uncertainty. At some point in our lives, we always ponder where life will take us, and as we dive deeper and deeper into the unknown, our patience grows thinner because life doesn't feel anymore certain than when we first took the leap of faith to live out all the options. In the end, some of us have learned that beyond the point of uncertainty, you have to let God, Faith, Life… whatever you feel like calling it… drive it. I truly love praying for this:  "God, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (the patience to understand them too), The courage [strength] to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference."

Where am I going with this? Well, let me share some life lessons with you.  Upon arriving in Arusha that fateful January 11, 2014, I had no expectations to be mind blown, or to be disappointed. What were you then, you ask? I was simply coasting. I came to my host family as a girl lost in a new world, merely contemplating the life that Tanzania would have for me. Just rule number one: Prepare yourself to adapt. Battle Ready! Now, I write to you on my last day in Arusha. This is the last day I will be spending at my internship, within the city of Arusha, and spending time with my family: Mama Peace, Tini, Eklesia, Baba, Michael, and Rehema.  I was going to wait until the end of my Tanzania trip, but I thought, 'Na, it is fitting to tell them now, under the emotional circumstances.' 

Arusha has given me many things.  Number one…(Haha Numba One)… many new friends and family. I am blessed by God to be placed into a family that teaches me more about a different side of faith than I choose to believe. Well, let me tell you what that means. STOP RUNNING SCARED! Those who know me well, know I worry over the little things, but in the Bible it states, "there is a time to keep, and a time to cast away." For example, even you who sit in the back of the church so comfortably listening to the pastor and mouthing the words to worship songs, God wants to see you dance, to let go of all the things that hold you back from letting loose and worship, even if you can't sing, or dance. God wants you to feel comfortable around him and not worry about what those around you might think. I completely testify making yourself uncomfortable teaches you more about yourself than maybe you wanted to know. 

Look, I am not a person that sits in the church like my Mama Peace and cries AMEN to everything, but I wonder at times why I am not? I just don't like to? Am I afraid that people will hear? I will tell you that something like this is good practice for when we are outside of church. I don't want people to believe that God is merely some sort of money bank and wish-granter because he is more than that. We can say we are blessed, but truly, the connotation should be that we are thankful, and in moments outside of church, when God blesses you with kindness, with breath, with money, with food, with a job, whatever, that is the moment to truly say AMEN Jesus, I praise you. As hypocritical as it might sound, I don't think I will return being that "AMEN" singing lady in church, but more of as a reminder that I must practice what I preach by praising God not only in church, but outside it. Only by action can I say I have learned such things of Faith.

Number two… Arusha has given me much to see. Sure, it might be polluting the air and dangerous in places, but it is not as dangerous as people say it is. It is easy enough to say that no matter where you go in the world, even to New York, you have to be aware always. I cannot reiterate that enough. It is easy to sit on our high horses and say that we are more civilized than most Africans, but let me tell you a little parable. A thief and a businessman can be both devious and tricky with money. Both can take your money, maybe because they needed more than you were willing to spare, but one is in a suit. Does that mean the one in the suit is more correct than the other? No, thieving isn't easily compared to being a businessman, but taking money without permission still isn't OK.  And no, not all business people are devious (for my business major friends out there), but think about it. I imagine some people have met some pretty devious businessmen trying to trick you out of your money for their own personal gain, while a thief steals for his personal gain. Culture is not as civilized as we think, no matter how sophisticated we think we are.  The people of Arusha are people you won't meet anywhere else in the world. It is a system here that is a rare find. It is a culture you will never know until you allow yourself to live it.

Number three… I can officially say I had a job in a foreign country. Honestly, I can't say that I loved doing office work, but I built a greater network in the world simply because I decided to look forward to every moment. I worked with donkeys that weren't treated fairly, were malnourished, and uncared for. I visited dogs that were more cared for than some Africans would have thought practical, and I taught over 150 kids of many ages about animal welfare just to watch them smile. I have met some pretty down to earth people in this job, and yeah, work ethic may not be like it is in America here in Tanzania, but I am not here to tell them their culture needs to change. There is some value to teach us in being different.

Lastly, being in Arusha has given me a whole set of courage, like Bilbo Baggins, that I have never had before, and I am going to keep this short and simple. I get on a daladala. I have to use Swahili to tell the conductor where I am going. He forgets I am stopping there, and the daladala passes my stop. Whether I shout, or simply tap him on the shoulder to let me off, I am going to get out of that daladala, and I am going to get to my destination when time allows me to get there. Life isn't always as simple as that. We most certainly can't be late for work, but sometimes in life, we get there when we get there, and it is OK to allow yourself to squeeze in a little chuckle to yourself saying, 'Ha! I have to walk a few more feet than I originally intended."

I will miss my family so much. Each and every one of them has taught me one little thing, whether it is Tini and Ekle teaching me to have patience with children, whether it is Mama teaching me to be a 'Hebrew' and letting God worry about your fears, or Rehema teaching me to smile big when facing adversity. I wish I could describe them all in greater detail because all of you should know them, but I will say the one thing I wanted to do when I got to Tanzania was make new relationships that I could count on to last a lifetime, or to build a new sense of family on the other side of the world. Folks, I did exactly that, and there is nothing I have regretted not doing in Arusha.

Sending love from Africa,

Jax 

P.S. We are going away to a Chaga village for a week without Wifi, so don't wait up!