Here I Am

Here I am.

I am Jacqueline Brennan coming from your small town USA and embracing a world that is different, yet not so different than my own. Over the course of the trip, I find myself asking what will happen when I get home?  How will people react to me and my adventures?  What will I say to them?  How do I explain everything in one simple email?  I can't even say that what I have for you now is sufficient. 

Life exposes the superficial and thoughtful ideas to those it controls. Some things need to be realized by an individual through their passion, while other things need to be realized through their faults.  Life takes our hands and drags us through thickets of deception and pulls us through mogs of our biggest fears...for what?  From a recent movie, I heard a cool quote, "I am glad people can't tell the future; otherwise, we would never get out of bed."  Life can be the childhood monster under your bed and hiding behind the door of your darkened closet. Those thickets and mogs become so overbearing and derailing at times, we just try to hold on tight to whatever strip of our own identities we have left in our possession. We become brave.  We become resilient.  We become the cliche version of ourselves.

I can sit here and explain what a life changing experience Tanzania was for me, and how much I gained from it, but I would hate to bore. Truthfully, upon arriving in the Amsterdam airport, I realized one thing, I become just another face in the crowd.  I am not saying this cynically, but the simple idea is that no one knows what I have learned and done in Tanzania, and no one really cares. The truth is, people want to hear, "It was a life changing experience, and I wouldn't trade it for the world." 

However, a short turn of events also made me realize that Tanzania has not left me with a constrained view of human nature. I witnessed our Dutch captain of our KLM flight come to my friend, Kristin, in the wee hours of the morning and presented her with a book.  It was book number 6 actually, for passengers to write their aspirations and wishes of their lives, and it carried the most valuable and priceless treasures that answer many of life's most daunting questions. The book revealed the human resilience, courage, and the significance of the various personal identities contained in the borders of the world. 

This was our chance to either embrace being another face in the crowd, or fight it.  Writing down these things in a book of dreams does not necessarily make us change this inevitability, but it does make our lessons learned seem more official because other people will be seeing them. It was fate that Kristin was randomly selected out of all the passengers to do this, and I witnessed it.  I began thinking about what my entry would've looked like.  Something like this:

"It is easy to let life scare you. People all over the world, rich or poor, big or small, young or old, continue to get up and press on with the day, believing that tomorrow has a better future. What are these people looking for?  That's easy...Happiness. Success is not defined by material wealth, or the quantity of relationships you have, or how many places you've been, but rather a new definition of success is by being truly honest with yourself about your personal happiness. 

In Tanzania, I experienced and witnessed many things, but one of them is that it is a place that carries dreams in the light of a Tanzanian eye. I have seen it. Whether you (but mostly I) have learned that a shampoo bottle can last longer than 4 months, a scrap of toilet paper can go a long way, a bucket of bathing water could be more than you asked for, and eating with your hands can save doing the dishes, you never want to take ANYTHING for granted. Tanzanians most certainly do not underestimate their faith (nor the will of God), and as a result, Tanzanians have an imploding faith that allows them to never stop dreaming and fighting for their happiness. They exemplify the human resilience in their daily life. They have more to teach America than for us Westerners to try to teach them.

In accordance, you realize the world and its dreams, including your own, get that much bigger (and sometimes even more confusing), so find your Africanness."

There is my tribute.  Truth is, I care about Tanzania and the love, the relationships, the views, and smiles it has so kindly offered to me. I am returning home carrying on my back life-created wings from the superficial and thoughtful lessons I have learned. My cliche version of myself is my better self, and honestly, it is up to you all to observe the mark and impression Tanzania has left on me. You all don't have to care about all these life lessons I have learned, but promise yourselves that you never take for granted all the places you will go in search of your happiness. 

Thank you all for reading up on my journey, and this won't be my last adventure. Study abroad trips ruin you with restlessness (in a good way of course) for something else exciting just around the corner.

I bid thee adieu. 

Sending my love from around the world.  I am home.

Jax

Give a man a fish....

IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN! 

I am down to two days left of Tanzania. What am I going to do next you might ask? Well maybe I will save that for after I talk about what I have been doing.

To start off, I hiked Mount Kilimanjaro. Ok, I hiked AROUND Mount Kilimanjaro, but I will tell you that it was on the list of top prettiest hikes in the world, and let me tell you, they aren't kidding. Avocado trees, banana trees, and coffee plants lay all over the mountain side. It smells of a mixture of mbege (the local brew...amongst other moonshine) and fresh rain, and the sound of a ninety meter waterfall in the distance. Toucan and other bird singers flutter around during the day, while the big-eyed Bush baby crawlers of the night scurry under the sheet of darkness. Very few people were bustling around, and if they were, they were farmers tending to their crops just like my good old home range in America.

I can't say we lived the village life because truly we were spoiled, but we got to talk to a ninety-six year old Chagga woman about her life, explore the wonderful terrain, learn about the nature and history of a farm village, consume some organic Chagga coffee we ground ourselves (which we got to trend and coin the new dance move...the twanga, so much better than twerking), and dance the night away with some great company. We stayed there for five days and then off to Lushoto for three days.

We thought the good village of Shimbwe was beautiful, but Lushoto is something else. It is a small town tucked back into these tall mountains. The town itself is so high that their buildings touch the clouds half the time, and they themselves feel so much closer to God. We stayed at this beautiful lodge that lies on the top of these mountains. You looked out on this vast valley of fluffy white clouds, while another layer of clouds lay just above you to shade you from the sun. Our tropical arena was just short of heaven. 

At Lushoto, we got to hear from a few truly wonderful people, Steve, Susan, and Yona Vinton. Actually, if any of you know Josh Vinton at Whitworth, he is a great fellow and a very good friend of mine.  We had the chance to talk with his family about the work they have been doing in Africa and specifically, Tanzania, for over 20 years. They are the type of people that when you talk to them, you just want to be surrounded by them all the time. 

A little background about them is that Susan has been doing fantastic work with those with HIV in her area in Iringa, and she had recently opened a clinic with all her fellow villagers to cater to other villages to obtain ARVs and receive treatment of sorts. Truly, Susan's job is to make people feel valued by visiting those who are suffering and give these people hope by saying wonderful words of wisdom like, "these days are the best days to get HIV!" Essentially, every outcome is going to be great, you just have to have hope and keep living, and that is something to apply to every day life. 

Steve Vinton of Village Schools Tanzania

Steve is working with an NGO run by Tanzanians...mind you... called Village Schools Tanzania. This isn't a place where people come in and build schools all over Tanzania and leave. Schools that are desired in the area are organized by Village Schools, but are built by the hands that desire these schools. The administration of these schools are Tanzanian, the workers are Tanzanian, and the material they use is from Tanzania, and slowly but surely, an amazing thing starts to spark on the stone.

I will let you in on a little secret that even I had a hard time understanding at first. I don't know if you are ready for this America, but think back to all those times that you went on those two-week mission trips to another country and built a house and left. Recall all the times you gathered canned food to send off to these countries in poverty. Think back to all the pictures that companies show you of how low poverty can get in the world. You know, the more flies on the face the better. Those were great ideas weren't they? They sparked a fire in you to go help and serve others less fortunate. However, you haven't seen what all these things have done after the fact.  Those were great ideas weren't they? They sparked a fire in you to go help and serve others less fortunate. However, you haven't seen what all these things have done after the fact.

I haven't personally seen this, but Susan explained to us that even though people in her village sleep on the ground, or don't have a lot of money, they don't feel like they are in poverty because what they have been doing there is quite amazing. I don't know why I hadn't thought of it before. Let Tanzania and Africa build their own schools and hospitals. "But...but they need our help. They might build it wrong. They don't how to make it efficient without our western ideas." No,  think about what you're saying. What you're saying is "they can't do it."  If you do everything for your child, you're telling them they can't and don't have to do it themselves. What justice does that do to them? America has far too long babied Africa, when they are more than capable than people think to realize. We have to realize that maybe helping Africa is only for our own personal gain rather than truly helping those less fortunate.

This is the message that Susan and Steve try to get across to Tanzanians. They don't need anyone's help but the help of each other. Now, this isn't saying those canned foods you sent out, or that house you built was in vain, but it is important to think about what message we are truly getting across when we do these things. Everything just got even more confusing didn't it? Am I donating money to the right things? Am I turning people into beggars? Am I sending the message of self efficiency, or reliance? That is a matter of opinion. If any are interested in the Village Schools Tanzania and support their message, check them out at villageschools.org. You can volunteer teaching English or whatever your heart desires in Tanzania, which is a constant growing demand for all the people in Tanzania. It is a selective process, and with a bright outlook, I bet you won't come back the same person. 

It was all a good weekend spent listening to some really wise people. Lushoto had a lot of beauty to offer us, but that too came to an end. It was off to Dar es Salaam. We set out at eight in the morning, doing our best to beat the rain, simply because our bus had gotten stuck in the mud prior. Truly, throughout the three months we had been there, everything had gone according to plan, which is good, but too good. Our journey and race ahead was to beat the floods sent by God himself. Instead of getting to Dar at 4 in the afternoon, we got there at 4 in the morning the next day. We got caught in traffic outside a hardly acceptable version of a town and we were there for over twenty hours trying to wait out the floods that stood as our obstacle. Surprisingly enough, our group was the best group to get caught in a traffic jam with, simply because every day was an adventure and everyone took it that way. The best type of people to surround yourself with are the people that can take a 20-hour traffic jam and make it something good. I got to talk with some interesting characters from all over Africa. In Tanzania, there are no strangers. Once we were moving, we drove through the flood itself where the waters had swept away many small vehicles, houses, and sadly, people. It sounds very dangerous, I know, but all is well. A lot of plans changed that day, and it worked for the best.

Over the past few weeks, we have talked with the US embassy, the Peace Corps, ex-members of parliament, visited museums of all kinds, and sat in on a university class. As of now, it is the countdown to make Tanzania last for as long as possible. Every day is an adventure. Tata for now! 

Sending my love from Africa!  Coming home soon!

Jax